Thursday, December 20, 2012

The End Is Nigh!

So this is it huh? The end of the world. Seems like there would be more fanfare or fireworks or something. From what I'm told I guess I am expected to be here at work tomorrow too... I thought I would take a moment and debate with you reasons that tomorrow very well could be the end of the world. For the record, I intend this to be light-hearted in the wake of so many bad things that have actually transpired in recent weeks... Without further ado, here are Trevor's reasons that the world will end tomorrow.

1.) The Mayan calendar ends tomorrow, 12/21/2011. Who am I to question the knowledge of a race so advanced they sacrificed virgins and used technologically advanced tools also known as stones? It should also be noted that while the Mayan's could see hundreds of years into the future, they couldn't foresee the coming of the Spanish Conquistadors and their near apocalyptic diseases.

2.) Dick Clark died this year! How are we supposed to ring in the new year without Dick Clark? We're not supposed to, that's how.

3.) Death of the Twinkie. The company that makes the abnormally yellow cream filled abomination went bankrupt. A company south of the boarder made a late attempt to purchase the confectionery concoction but seems as though the deal fell through. Surely the world can not continue without Ho Ho's!

4.) Nicki Minaj. 'Nuff said.

5.) George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise to Disney! Who wants to face a world that may one day see Jar Jar Binx get his own movie? The Ewoks will be mass marketed to death. It will be like Teddy Ruxpin version 2.0

6.) Tomorrow is the winter solstice which means it is the beginning of winter. It also means that tomorrow is the shortest day of the year. So let me get this right. As winter starts the world is supposed to end, and it's going to be the shortest day of the year. What a ripoff!

What is your evidence that tomorrow is the end of the world? We would love to hear!

-TW